Everyone is presented with trials in their lifetime.
It is so easy to focus on what is lost versus what is gained. Every single moment in your life gives you the option to become stronger, weaker, or stay the same.
There was a moment in my life in which I was too afraid to be bold—to be myself.
I had become what my father refers to as a “doormat.” A doormat is someone who remains on the periphery neither succeeding nor failing, remaining at the threshold, while others excel past you. A doormat believes this is the way it is meant to be, that there is no other option. I let people take advantage of my work ethic, time, and kindness.
Let me tell you: being a doormat wears you out over time. Your best qualities will fade and you’ll lose yourself without noticing.
I began quietly sinking into the background of my own life thinking that was all I could be. I was weak. I let people take advantage. I never told anyone about my problems, acting as if downplaying them made me stronger.
My “awakening” moment came in the heart of the darkest time of my life.
At 19, I was very depressed. Naturally, pride makes admitting this truth difficult. I tried to hide it from everyone, convinced myself I was in total control.
Oh how false I was!
Eventually, I cracked. I don’t know why or how but I realized being self-deprecating was never going to be good enough for anyone, especially me. I realized the definition of control extends beyond the physical: people are not worth anything if they neither respect your time nor self.
I was becoming a slave to negativity, devolving into a curmudgeon, and realized it needed to stop immediately.
I cut habitual negativity out of my life, started meditating, practicing body positive thinking, and stopped hurting myself. I vowed I would fall in love with myself again—not like a narcissist, just like a normal person who looks in the mirror and sees a face versus a monster.
Positivity became a daily goal. Although it is harder to achieve on some days than others, I realize there is not much room for negative thinking concerning your goals. The little voice that says “You will fail” is now reserved for potentially destructive decisions (i.e. don’t invest in portable DVD player stock in 2017; do not jump off the roof even if it would be cool to survive; don’t quit your job if you have no support to fall back on).
I went from being a doormat, to a shoe, to a foot, to a leg, and then to a brain. Although it is impossible to eliminate all negativity, it is possible to outweigh it with positivity.
The world is for living. Our happiness comes from the inside out and with that knowledge, we can be unstoppable.